What to Expect in a Blended Family

The reality of what a blended family presents is often at odds with the Brady Bunch stereotype. Having realistic expectations can help a lot with the transition.

While every situation is different, there are some common themes and situations you’ll see in step-family situations. Here are some ideas of what to expect in a blended family.

1. The Need for Patience

Some families “blend” faster than others, but nearly everyone agrees that you can’t expect an overnight transition where everyone is perfectly happy and adjusted. In other words, you can’t just “plug in” a step-parent in the slot previously filled by the biological parent. So expect the need for patience. Relationships take time, especially with the complex emotions involved in a blended family.

2. Priority Change

There are going to be some shifts in priority when a blended family – which involves a remarriage or new partnership – comes into being. Whereas you might have spent all of your time with your kids in the past, you will now have a new spouse or partner who will also put a demand on your time. Investing time in your new partner will ultimately build a stronger family than continually forcing him or her to take a back seat to the kids. You’ll have to be willing to rearrange your priorities a bit to make your second marriage or relationship successful.

3. Understand the Difficulties

It’s a good idea to go ahead and accept the fact that blended families are difficult. That doesn’t mean they aren’t successful some if not most of the time; it just means you have a realistic outlook about the challenges ahead. Feelings like jealousy, resentment, anger, and hurt are not uncommon among children in blended families. If you have a healthy understanding of the difficulties, then you are less likely to be blind to some of the problems when they arise.

4. The Need for Counseling and/or Therapy

There’s no shame in seeking counseling and therapy for your family and its various members. You may never have considered therapy before, or maybe you have a negative view of counselors. But if you’re going to have a successful blended family, it’s a good idea to keep an open mind about seeking outside help.

5. Adventure

Not everything you can expect is difficulty! Expect an adventure as you go forward. New relationships and a fresh start are some positive things you can expect. As you form a new schedule, new routines, and new relationships, you can expect a sense of excitement and accomplishment as you move forward successfully.