Should You Let Your Baby Cry?

This is a daunting question, and one that scientists have been investigating for decades with no firm conclusion. So we can’t solve the dilemma in one short article. But we can go over some of the main arguments for and against letting babies cry, and review some opinions on when it’s okay and when it’s not okay to let your baby cry. Hopefully, this list will help clarify things so you can make an informed decision for you and your baby.

1. Meeting Baby’s Needs is Number One
No parenting philosophy should advocate letting a baby cry over meeting her needs. If your baby is cold, hot, hungry, wet, in pain, or otherwise in need of basic attention, it’s never appropriate to let her cry it out. It’s vital to do your best to learn why your baby is crying so your baby does not suffer and illness does not go undiagnosed.

2. Needs vs. Wants
In babies, this is not as easy a question to answer. However, studies have shown that babies fail to thrive if they are not touched or held. But how far does a parent need to go in meeting this need? Some babies “need” to be held all the time; others do not. Some babies need to eat frequently; others do not. So as you learn your baby’s unique personality rather than trying to make him fit a formula, you may well find that you can more easily discern needs from wants. And it’s at your discretion if you want to let him cry over an unmet “want.”

3. The First 6 Months
Experts generally agree that it is not healthy to treat newborns the same way you would treat a baby over the age of 6 moths (or so). The first few months are important for bonding and learning about each other. (You’ll notice a common thread here – know thy baby!) That makes your decision about how often, when, and if to let your baby cry a lot easier. You have a better idea as to what your baby can handle and what makes him “tick.” The better you know your baby, the more discerning you’ll be in deciding what cries mean real distress and what crying is not so urgent.

4. Safe Sleep Training
If you decide to let your baby cry herself to sleep, it’s a good idea to get a good, reliable source of information such as a pediatrician-approved set of guidelines. You want to make sure your baby is safe and not in any danger while he is crying. A baby monitor is essential to make sure your baby doesn’t have something over her face, hasn’t gotten a hand or foot caught, or some other issue that needs your immediate attention.

Remember, if you’re concerned about your baby’s crying, check with your pediatrician, lactation consultant, midwife, or other health professional. It’s important to rule out medical causes for crying.

Creating a Shakespeare Garden

“There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance,” says Ophelia in Hamlet. “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” says Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. The works of William Shakespeare are blooming with references to flowers and herbs – why not channel this master’s genius into a lovely Shakespeare garden?

A Shakespeare garden is exactly that – a garden that reflects the flowers, plants and herbs mentioned in Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets. Often Shakespeare gardens are in public places, such as New York City’s Central Park, or the Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. Many of these parks include various varieties of plants mentioned in Shakespeare’s works and little markers featuring the quotations from which they were pulled.

Sometimes parks will include a bust of Shakespeare, benches, pathways and hedges. Here are some tips for creating a Shakespeare garden in your own yard.

First, consider which are your favorite Shakespearean plays? Do you have a favorite sonnet or passage that you want to be sure to include? Some popular quotes include this full passage from Hamlet from Ophelia:

“Ophelia: There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance. Pray you, love, remember. And there is pansies, that’s for thoughts.
Laertes: A document in madness! Thoughts and remembrance fitted.
Ophelia: There’s fennel for you, and columbines. There’s rue for you,
and here’s some for me. We may call it herb of grace o’ Sundays.
O, you must wear your rue with a difference! There’s a daisy. I
would give you some violets, but they wither’d all when my father
died. They say he made a good end.”

This is a nice passage from A Winter’s Tale:

“Here’s flowers for you;
Hot lavender, mints, savoury, marjoram;
The marigold, that goes to bed wi’ the sun
And with him rises weeping: these are flowers
Of middle summer, and I think they are given
To men of middle age.”

Another whimsical quote from A Midsummer Night’s Dream:

“I know a bank where the wild thyme blows,
Where oxlips and the nodding violet grows,
Quite over-canopied with luscious woodbine,
With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine:
There sleeps Titania sometime of the night,
Lull’d in these flowers with dances and delight.”

Based on those passages alone, you could choose to include rosemary, pansies, fennel, columbines, rue, daisies, violets, lavender, mints, savoury, marjoram, marigold, thyme, woodbine, musk-roses, and eglantine in your garden.

Next, research which Shakespearean plants grow best in your region. Consider your soil and its pH balance as well as the amounts of sun and shade you get in the area you wish to turn into your Shakespeare garden. Then you can begin your gardening design.

As far as designing your garden, you have many options.

Formal design – Like a traditional English garden, you could design your garden with hedges, walkways, and an intricate design, with the Shakespearean plants and quotes woven throughout. Many gardeners choose boxwood or yew for the border, or even use trees. Accents can be holly or roses (which, by any other name, would smell as sweet).

Cottage/herb garden style – Less formal design and more colorful and whimsical, this can be a fun addition to any home. Consider adding rocks to your garden, a small Shakespearean bust, or a small waterfall or pond, with low-growing flowers interspersed throughout.

An avid gardener himself, Shakespeare would be sure to appreciate your efforts to further immortalize and commemorate his works. A Shakespeare garden is a fun way to combine your interest in gardening, herbs and poetry all in one beautiful, peaceful location.

Recreational versus Competitive Teams

You’re considering getting your children started in some local sporting events. But are you going for recreational soccer or competitive? Which kind of sport is best for your child, and what are the differences?

Differences between Recreational and Competitive Teams

Recreational teams are teams that simply get together for fun. There may not be much instruction in rules or technique. For example, a recreational kids’ soccer geared toward 3-4 year olds might involve a lot of running games and kicking activities that help ready kids for the skills they will need when they one day play competitive soccer. They’ll get a workout, they’ll run around, and they’ll have a lot of fun without anyone winning or losing.

Competitive teams are more serious. There are official rules, there may be referees, timers, and there’s something at stake. Coaches expect their players to have proper equipment, have a solid skill set and a good understanding of the rules. There will be more cheering and perhaps some jeering from players or even the sidelines.

Pros and Cons

The pros of competitive teams are that the kids gain confidence, learn the rules, develop their athletic skills and develop a lifelong ability to work as a team. They also develop a thick skin for trash talk and have a chance to truly compete.

The cons of competitive teams are the very fact that they are competitive. Your child might have to try out and might not make the team. He or she could get benched. There will be trash talk, there will be winners and losers, and sometimes a loss will be the fault of a particular player.

The advantage of recreational teams is that it’s truly just for fun. Things are less serious, there’s exercise involved, and everyone’s a winner. But, it can also be a disadvantage that everyone’s a winner – this is the situation in which everyone may receive a trophy, ribbon or certificate of participation. Your child may miss out on some important life lessons without that competitive edge.

How to Decide Which Team Your Child Needs

1. Recreational teams

For younger kids who are just learning, many experts recommend recreational teams. The kids get exercise, have exposure to the game and get a general idea about skills and necessary equipment. Some types of kids who may be best suited for recreational teams include:

* Young children
* Children new to a sport
* Children with confidence issues
* Children (or adults) that simply want to have fun
* Children or adults that simply want exercise
* Children with special needs

2. Competitive teams

Older kids, perhaps upper elementary or middle school, and high school-aged kids are ready for competitive teams. These are the kids that are able to understand and follow the rules. They have a strong skill set and are willing to work on techniques; they are ready for a challenge. They have a thick skin to handle criticism, pressure, and are able to keep fighting even when things look bleak.

Competitive teams teach kids about hard work, effort, dealing with trash talk, following rules, improving techniques, and understanding that sometimes people make mistakes. They are suitable for:

* Older children
* Children capable of understanding and following the rules
* Children who enjoy a challenge
* Children who are ready to work in teams
* Children who may need to develop a thick skin
* Children able to handle wins and losses

Sports and teams of all types are available through school, local camps and community recreational facilities, and religious and neighborhood organizations. Whether you choose a recreational or competitive team, you’re sure to find something your child will enjoy.