Online Dating 101
For many people, dating online makes sense – with today’s busy schedules and widely varying lifestyles, finding someone to date “in real life” (IRL) may not be feasible. The internet offers the chance to meet people who might not otherwise cross your path.
But the world of online dating can seem intimidating, especially if you are new at it. Here are some tips for getting started with online dating.
It’s Okay to Be Proactive
For some, being proactive about finding a mate may seem like a sign of weakness or simply “not the way they were raised.” But relying on chance is getting less and less effective in an era where people seem to gather in front of their computers in the evenings more than they go out and about. These days, it’s okay to be proactive about dating, whether you’re male or female.
Choose Your Site
As you begin to look around for the right online dating site, check with your friends. They are excellent “filters” who will tell you what the pros and cons are of various sites. You can also do a search for reviews of the sites that interest you.
Some sites do more “filtering” than others, so if you are very cautious you might want to go with the site(s) that have many detailed questions as part of their joining process. If you are more relaxed and open, you might prefer a site that leans more toward letting the members sort things out.
Your Profile
As you begin to fill in questions and talk about yourself, sources point out that it’s good to avoid statements that are too general or cliche (such as “I enjoy spending time with family”). Remember that you are one of many thousands on the site, so make your profile specific and unique. Instead of the bit about spending time with family, mention how you love to spend time with your crazy aunt (or whoever) and how she makes you feel.
Your Picture
Many people agonize over this one, and it’s understandable; that’s the first thing people see when they look at your profile or are matched with you. But your picture should, above all, be something that is typical of you. It’s not a great idea to get dressed up in an outfit that has nothing to do with your personality type or interests, for example.
You can get away with a decent self-portrait, or have friends and/or family take your picture. It’s also a good idea to have more than one picture on your profile, and to have a variety of pictures (some just your face, others full length, etc.). Above all, say multiple sources, make sure the pictures are current.
Be Patient
Even if you’ve heard of someone who met the love of his/her life within 24 hours of joining a dating website, such stories are the exception, not the rule. Experts point out that it can take many weeks to find “the one,” and you may need to take a break and re-join later. Just like IRL dating, you have to sift few quite a few potential matches before you find the right one!