Mountains and Molehills – Which Child Behaviors Should You Worry About?

Kids will be kids – that’s one life rule that never changes. As much as you’d like, you can’t make your child be that perfect shining example you see in the TV commercials. But you also have to choose your battles. Here are a few ideas about which child behaviors are mountains and which are molehills.

Homework

Is your child procrastinating on the homework or is the homework not getting done? Did he or she receive a low grade on one test, or is this a frequent problem? Remember that often cumulative subjects, like algebra, take a few weeks to grasp. Just as your child’s teacher moves on to the new thing, your child suddenly understands the old concept. That’s great. This will just glide into the new topic, and your child will keep learning.

However, if your child is frequently failing tests, failing all classes, fails the state tests or appears constantly sick — too anxious to go to school – this could be a serious problem. Consider scheduling a meeting with the school counselor, teachers and your child to see what the problem is. Perhaps there’s a medical or social problem that you can identify and address.

Appearance

Messy room? Messy hair? Does your child have a lack of interest in appearance? Kids don’t like to make their beds. Many kids are happy not to take a shower or brush their hair. But if a simple reminder doesn’t send them into the shower for a good shampoo, there may be an underlying reason. Are they depressed? Is there a serious underlying problem such as abuse? Check with your child and consider scheduling a visit with your pediatrician.

Does your child wear wrinkled, mismatched clothes? Consider this just a molehill and move on. But if your child is consistently wearing inappropriate clothing to school or to the mall, this can be a mountain that many parents have tried to address.

Watch out for your child carrying a large bag — many teachers can attest that students, especially girls, may leave the house in one outfit, arrive at school, meet up with friends in the rest room and arrive to first period in a completely different outfit and wearing elaborate makeup. Some teachers have even caught students who were tardy because they were changing clothes in the bathroom. If the tardies become frequent and the clothing is inappropriate, you have a mountain rather than a molehill and need to lay down the line.

Screen Time

Is your child using a lot of screen time? Although research does show it’s not the greatest thing for our children, keep in mind that yours is definitely not the only one out there spending time online. However, if you start to notice this becoming an addiction and if you find that your child is no longer having fun on family vacations to the beach, hiking in the woods, or other non-electronics-oriented times, then you may have a bigger problem.

You may want to talk to your child about internet safety, and consider monitoring your child. That’s your job – keep him/her safe, keep her healthy, and if it means you’re not her best friend, well…. That’s not your job. You’re her parent.

Generally speaking, many parents find that it’s best if they go with their instincts. If something feels not quite right, it probably isn’t. Remember that there are a lot of resources available to you: other parents, your child’s school, friends, family, and your pediatrician.