How to Deal with Dementia in Your Elderly Parent

Dementia can be absolutely frightening for children of elderly parents and the parents themselves. The emotional roller coaster can be exhausting. Dementia is not necessarily the same as Alzheimer’s disease, but it can present similar symptoms, so you might find some help in Alzheimer’s support groups and other resources.

Here are some tips on dealing with your elderly parent with dementia.

It’s Not Your Fault

Like kids whose parents divorce, sometimes kids of elderly parents with dementia feel like it’s somehow their fault. Remember, you did not do anything to cause the dementia, and you can’t make it go away. It’s important to remember that not everything hinges on you; it can be an ironic relief to recognize that you can’t control everything.

Consider Your and Your Family’s Safety

As dementia takes hold, some elderly sufferers become violent. It’s important that you keep yourself and your family safe, whether you’re visiting your parent in a facility or having him/her live with you. It’s particularly important, of course, if your dementia-stricken parent is living with you.

If your parent is exhibiting signs of violent behavior, such as banging their fists into walls, screaming angrily, or throwing things, then consider talking to your parent’s doctor about anti-psychotic medications and other helpful pharmaceuticals. Certainly, you don’t want your parent to be a zombie; but medication can help manage symptoms.

Tap into Dementia Care Resources

Some of the symptoms of dementia may be relieved by participation in activities specially tailored for people with dementia. After all, your aging parents may still need an outlet, even if they do have dementia; but their need for an outlet can’t be expressed in a healthy, normal way anymore. Anxiety, frustration, and other negative emotions may be simmering away in your elderly parent’s mind, and some regular activities may provide some relief.

You might be able to find some activities you can do with your parent, such as painting, crafts, working with clay, stringing beads, planting a garden/potted plants, or other activities (not unlike what you’d do with a preschooler).

What Not to Do

Experts agree that it’s not a good idea to engage a person with dementia in an argument or shouting match. It may be your parent and he/she may really know how to push your buttons, but try to respond in a calm manner and re-direct your parent’s attention to a peaceful activity.