How Communication Improves Relationships

You have probably heard that good communication is essential to a relationship. But do you know why? What is it about communication that improves relationships? And how does it do that?

Here is a basic overview of the way in which communication improves relationships, and some tips and suggestions on how you can apply good communication to your relationships.

Listening First

Good communication means listening first, and deliberately turning off the barrage of thoughts you’re having about what you want to say next. Experts recommend turning this tendency around so that you are still thinking of what you’re going to say, but you’re thinking of what you’re going to say about what the other person is saying!

In other words, your job as a good listener is to repeat back (paraphrased in your own words) to the other person what you just heard him or her say. This way, you have to listen to the other person in order to formulate what you’re going to say next.

Making Sure You Understand

One of the significant ways that communication improves relationships is that it promotes mutual understanding. This is especially true if you follow the suggestion above – if you paraphrase what the other person just said, then you have a chance to make sure you have it right. The other person may need to clarify some points that you didn’t quite get. This leads to more discussion, which is a good thing!

Not Just Talking

For communication to be truly good, it needs to involve more than just talking. Non-verbal communication is also very important. Body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions are all forms of non-verbal communication. Your friend/spouse/partner/family member may totally misunderstand what you are trying to say if you say it with a tone that indicates something else.

This is how good communication improves relationships – it involves paying attention to how you appear and sound to others. When in doubt, ask the other person or people what they thought you meant when you said such-and-such. What you mean and what they think you mean might be quite different.

Another area where non-verbal communication matters is when you’re listening. Looking at your watch, letting your eyes wander around the room, and fidgeting are all signals that you are not really listening. You might be, but your body language says otherwise. Good communication means you’re listening with your body, too.

Staying on Topic

When you communicate well with someone, you stay on topic; you don’t dredge up things from the past or let the conversation drift into everything that’s ever gone wrong in your life. Relationships improve when you stay on the topic of conversation, because it helps the other person open up more. He or she doesn’t clam up in dread that you’ll bring up the past.

These are just some basics – there are all kinds of ways that good communication can improve your relationships. Try putting some of them into practice!