Tips on Improving Your Relationship

Relationships can present many challenges, and no one handles them perfectly. Every relationship has rocky spots and can use some improvement from time to time. It doesn’t mean things are over or ruined forever; it just means you need to make some adjustments here and there. Here are some tips on improving your relationship that may help.

Stop Criticizing

It’s easy to let a simple criticism escape your lips – after all, your partner is engaging in a behavior you don’t like, and the fastest way to get at the issue is to criticize him/her. But all kinds of research shows that criticism is not the best way to get someone to change his/her behavior. It can have the opposite effect, in fact; and if his/her behavior does change as a result of your criticism, it may be accompanied by resentment.

Instead, find a tactful and creative way to address the behavior that bothers you. Remember, your partner very likely is not doing said behavior for the sole purpose of bothering you; he or she is doing it because it works for him/her.

Make It Funny

It’s amazing what humor can do to diffuse a situation. Humor can also help you see things in a new light, and not take things so seriously. Try to make a joke out of annoying behavior and have some fun.

Learn to Let Things Go

This is a big one, and one of the toughest for some people. There’s an art to learning when to let things go and when to belabor the point. One key to understanding when to do what is to ask yourself why you want to bring it up again and again.

Is it because you believe your partner is wrong and you must be right? Or is it because you didn’t feel heard before? Maybe you want to bring it up because you don’t feel as if it’s resolved. Ask yourself if it really matters – in the long run, is the issue absolutely crucial?

Most of the time, it’s just a different way of seeing things. Learning to let the other person be “wrong” is a very mature thing you can do to improve your relationship.

Keep It Close to Home

Unless there is abusive or damaging behavior going on, it’s a good idea to keep your disagreements just between you, experts say. Going to your friends (especially mutual friends), family, and others and talking about the disagreement you’re having with your partner just tends to be divisive. It grows the problem, too – the more people who know about it, the bigger and messier it may get.