The Role of Listening in Effective Communication
It’s important to recognize that communication is a two-way street. Communication happens as much with your ears as with your mouth. Listening is a form of communication that “speaks” to the other person without even using words…or at least not very many!
What Listening Communicates
What are you communicating when you listen? For one thing, you’re letting the other party know that they matter; their opinion counts. That’s a pretty powerful message! If you establish this basic truth early on in the conversation, you can expect some of the following responses.
* Receptiveness – A person who feels “heard” is a person who is more likely to be receptive to what you have to say.
* Safety – The other party might be nervous or anxious about discussing things with you. Establishing that you care about the other’s ideas and opinions makes him or her feel safer, and better able to open up.
* Friendship/relationship – This kind of listening-based communication can really deepen a friendship and any relationship. If you weren’t friends before, maybe you feel close enough to establish a friendship now that you feel you can trust the other party enough to be friends after your conversation.
The Art of Listening
The role of listening in effective communication means some pretty specific behaviors. Here are some suggestions for practicing the art of listening.
* Don’t jump to conclusions – It can be very frustrating when you’re trying to tell someone something, and he or she keeps jumping to conclusions before you’ve said everything. One way to avoid this is to really focus on what the person is saying rather than on what you’re going to say next.
* Cut the nervous chatter – Sometimes, silence in conversation makes people uncomfortable. But idle chitchat can be distracting, and opens the opportunity for you to say something you don’t really mean or that you haven’t thought through first. It’s okay to tell the other party that you can’t answer something right now, that you need to think; and if you have trouble thinking there on the spot, you can simply say you have to think it over first. This communicates to the other party that you did hear and are considering what they said, even if you can’t respond right now.
* Paraphrase – Sources agree that repeating back what the other party just said in your own words – i.e. paraphrasing – is an important point of effective communication. It communicates to the other party that you did, in fact, listen to them and you are making an effort to understand.