Marriage Problems: How Counseling Can Help
Many couples who are struggling in their marriage turn to therapy in the form of counseling. Other struggling couples aren’t sure if counseling is even worth it – they may wonder what the point is if they’re sure their relationship is finished. But there are some very real ways that counseling can help a marriage, and the two individuals who are in the marriage. Here are some ways that counseling can help, and some things to keep in mind as you seek therapy.
Don’t Wait
Experts point out that the longer you wait to seek help, the more resentment and anger between the parties will build. This makes it harder to repair the damage when you finally do get to counseling. You don’t have to be on the verge of breaking up to seek counseling; like car maintenance, a marriage can benefit from counseling even when problems are small. In fact, this may be when counseling is the most beneficial.
Communication
One of the big benefits of counseling is communication – with the counselor and with each other. For one thing, it can be a great relief to have someone listen to your problems and concerns without interruption and/or without the “baggage” and negative patterns that may arise between marriage partners when they try to discuss the issues.
For another thing, counselors can help married couples communicate with each other more effectively. Counselors help everyone to be heard and understood, and then he or she works with you to find compromises wherein both parties have their needs met.
Focusing on the Marriage
This very basic thing is often forgotten by the husband and wife, and counseling can help. If you are attending counseling sessions, that alone shows that you are putting a priority on your marriage. Then, when you get home, you will have the counselor’s advice in your mind and, hopefully, playing out in your home. This means you are both more focused on your marriage itself, which can be a big help in and of itself.
He Said, She Said
Going to a marriage counselor also means that both parties can be heard without the other party acting as a “filter.” Sometimes without meaning to (and sometimes meaning to!), a spouse may interrupt, put words in the other one’s mouth, have different versions of the same event, or even tend to stretch the truth a bit. A good counselor will help both parties to be heard and hear each other.