How to Stay Emotionally Healthy When Caring For Your Aging Parents

There’s no doubt that caring for aging parents can tax you emotionally. It can seem like there’s no “right thing” to do; every choice presents pros and cons, and family rivalries and disagreements that used to be dormant come to life. It’s a tough time for everyone.

So how are you supposed to stay emotionally healthy when caring for your aging parents? Here are some tips that may help.

Get Counseling

Getting competent counsel and/or therapy can be a life-saver for those who are caring for aging parents. Group therapy might appeal to you, so that you can connect with others who are going through similar things. Or you might prefer to see a counselor one-on-one.

If you are religious, you might check if your place of worship or a church in your community has a care group for children of elderly parents. You may need help working through the feelings of frustration, guilt, anger, and other feelings that go with caring for elderly parents. Also, family tensions may benefit from some professional advice; you might need some advice on coping with siblings and other family members.

Recognize Your Limitations

You can’t do everything, nor should you. Many children feel guilty because they are not able to visit their parent(s) in the nursing home every day, or they feel guilty because they resent their parent’s presence in their home. In other words, it’s easy to feel guilty because you can’t be and do it all.

However, being realistic about your limitations is important. You can only do what you can do! If you have to, write it down. Make a clear list of what you can and can’t do, and don’t feel guilty about it. Then do what you can do with love and compassion, and you need not feel bad about not being there 24/7.

Ask for Help

Whether you ask other family members or professional care-givers for help, it’s important that you share the burden with others. (And remember, don’t feel guilty!)

See if you can split up your parent’s needs among various people, so everyone has a small job. For example, one person can run a couple of errands a week; another person can sit with your parent for an hour or two while you get something done; someone else could help with housework or babysitting (if you have young children in addition to aging parents).

Legal Help

Sometimes, family dynamics are such that you have to call in legal help. A guardian may need to be appointed, or you may need to get your parent committed if he or she refuses to enter a nursing home facility.