Getting Your Child to Sleep through the Night
When you have young children, you wonder if you’ll ever sleep through the night again. The answer to this is yes, you will, but it will never be the same. Eventually your child will sleep through the night. Pay no attention to those people who say that their babies sleep through the night at one day old. That is extremely rare.
Newborns need to eat frequently because of their small stomachs. By the time they reach around 11 pounds, they can go at least six hours. By around six months if your baby wakes frequently in the middle of the night it might be from habit, but this is also the time when he or she begins to remember you.
If you are desperate for a full night’s sleep, then you’ll want to take some steps early to make sure your baby learns how to self-soothe. We all wake through the night as we go through different stages of sleep. It all depends on how you handle sleep in the early days how difficult it will be later on.
To start with, you want to make sure your child is not sleeping too much during the day. You also don’t want a late afternoon/early evening nap. So you might have to try adjusting nap times. A mid-morning nap and a mid-afternoon nap for an hour or two each is enough for most babies less than a year old. Some babies do better with one longer nap. Once you find a good daytime nap schedule for your baby, you can really focus on the evening routine.
When you put your baby to bed for the night, make sure she’s awake when you put her down. This way she has to figure out how to fall asleep on her own. Now you need to decide the method with which you want to get your child to go to sleep on her own.
You can let her cry it out. You’ll hear people who swear by this method and others who say it’s cruel. However, since a baby’s way of communicating her needs is through crying , she has figured she can get her way with tears and you’ll come running. You may want to make it clear that night-time is bedtime and crying should only be used when it’s really necessary. In other words, you might not want to send the message that if you throw a temper tantrum you get your way.
If you are truly morally opposed to this method, though, then don’t try it. You will have to use music, or a pacifier, or nursing to get your child back to sleep. Just remember: if she wakes in the middle of the night, you’ll have to offer one of these things at that time as well to get her back to sleep – which defeats the whole “sleep through the night” idea.
There are different ways to let babies cry it out. For example “Ferberizing.” This is where on night one you put your baby to bed awake, give a little pat, say goodnight, and leave the room. When she starts crying, allow her to cry for five minutes, then go back in and give her the some reassurance, but do not pick her up. Then leave. This time, if she begins to cry again leave her for ten minutes, then go back in for reassurance. You continue doing this, expanding it by five minutes each time before you return until she’s asleep. Each night after, extend the amount of time she fusses by a few minutes each night.
If the crying changes at all, you can go in and check just to make sure she isn’t hurt or stuck. Make her comfortable again with a few little pats and gentle words and then leave.
If you are trying to get an older child to sleep through the night, then stay in the room in a chair giving reassuring words until she falls asleep. Move the chair further from the crib each night until you’re at the doorway.
Try systematic awakening. Start out by keeping a diary of your child’s sleep patterns. Write down when she wakes at night and find the patterns. Then set an alarm for half an hour before your baby usually wakes and go wake her up and do what you would normally do. Feed her, change diaper, rock her, whatever. Gradually expand the time between these systematic awakenings and begin to eliminate them all together. Within a few weeks you should be able to phase them out altogether.
If you never let your child become overtired to begin with, then this will help eliminate sleep problems. Anticipate your child’s natural sleep patterns for nap and bedtime, then when you put your baby down in her bed she will fall asleep easily because she’s already tired. If she does wake during the night, then briefly respond with reassurance, but let her fall asleep on her own.
Gradually remove sleep aids that you use to get baby to sleep. If you nurse her to sleep, gradually remove that feeding at bedtime. If you rock her for 20 minutes, reduce it by five minutes each day. Put her to bed drowsy, but not asleep, so she can drift off to sleep. If she does still wake at night you can respond, but not by picking her up or feeding her – just give a reassuring pat.
Whatever way you choose to do this, just be consistent. Don’t do it one night and say this doesn’t work and give up; keep at it. Give it a solid two weeks to really know if it works or not. Even if you aren’t going to let your child cry it out, don’t jump up at the first sign of distress either during the night. Sometimes babies cry out while still sleeping and will fall right back to sleep. Always give the crying a few minutes to see if it subsides on its own before you go in to offer comfort.
With consistency and perseverance you will see a great difference in how your child sleeps through the night. And once it happens, you’ll think that wasn’t such a big deal.