Empty Nest Syndrome: Transition Tips
When your last child leaves home, many people (particularly mothers) feel a sense of emptiness and loss. This can escalate into depression if not dealt with. As you learn to go from “Mom” to “you,” some transition tips might help. Here are some ideas for how to cope with empty nest syndrome.
1. It’s Okay to Be Sad
Don’t let anyone make you feel weak or inadequate because you feel sad at this critical time. You’ve identified as a “mom” for so many years that it’s hard to make the change. You’re still a mom, of course, but now that your children aren’t at home, you don’t have as active a role in their lives. It’s only natural to feel a bit blue as this transition occurs. Be gentle to yourself.
2. Establish Communication
Before your children leave home, it’s important to establish how and how often you will communicate. Get a cell phone for texting, and/or set up a social networking site or, if you don’t have one already, an email address. If you prefer telephone communication, establish a time when you will connect by phone.
It’s important to determine not only the method but also the frequency of communication. You don’t want to feel like you “never” heard from your kids, but your kids need to be independent and not feel like you’re “hovering.” Decide on a communication schedule that you’re both comfortable with.
3. Think of the Positive Aspects
Spend some time focusing on the good things about your last child leaving home. You won’t have to cook as much or as often, for instance, and you won’t need to buy nearly as many groceries. You have more freedom, and can spend time “dating” your spouse or, if you’re single, you can date more freely.
You don’t have to make room for your kids’ friends to pile in for parties or visiting, and you don’t have to juggle vehicles with a teenager. If you take a little time to think about it, there are lots of positive things about having your house to yourself again.
4. Find Your Identity
It’s hard to go from being Mom to being You. You don’t have to go back to being the way you were before you had kids – that would not be possible anyway. You’re older and more experienced, so you’ve changed. Discover who you are by going back to school, taking up a hobby, or redecorating the house.
Is there something you always wanted to do but never got around to doing while your kids were at home? Now is the time to write that book, take that vacation, or whatever you have been wishing to accomplish all these years.
It’s not all sadness when your last child moves out. Give yourself time and space to feel sad, and transition into a new and exciting you.