Emotional Stages of Growing Old
Like other life stages, growing old is marked by various emotional milestones. Recognizing them can help older adults cope with the aging process, and it also helps their caregivers and family understand their situation a bit better.
Here are some of the common emotional stages of growing old.
1. Self-Sufficiency (Mostly)
In this stage, seniors may suffer from chronic illness or disabilities, but they are generally able to take care of themselves. They may refuse any help offered, because they associate needing helping with being elderly, and they don’t think of themselves as “old.” Accepting help would be like admitting they are aging.
Most of the time, seniors in this stage are not experiencing much depression or negative emotions. They may be in denial and believe everything is just fine (or maybe everything actually is just fine!).
2. The First Signs of Independence Loss
These signs are often subtle. Seniors may begin to discover they can’t do something they’ve always done. Maybe they find themselves getting confused while driving, such as forgetting where they are going or how to get home, or they might have trouble seeing, resulting in an accident or near-miss that serves as a wake-up call.
Maybe they find pots left burning on the stove, or find that they can’t hear as well as they used to. It begins to dawn on seniors that their independence is slipping away, and they have to “swallow their pride” and ask for help.
At this stage, depression is common, because the senior realizes that he or she is losing independence, and that it’s not likely to return. The reality of aging – and how irreversible it is – begins to set in.
3. Crisis Mode
At this point, family members may find themselves always “putting out fires” – sometimes literally. One frightening event or near-miss happens after another – Dad is found by neighbors wandering the streets in the middle of the night; Mom is leaving pots to burn on the stove – and friends and family have to swoop in and avert crisis after crisis. Seniors may feel frightened at what is happening to them, and feelings of fear and anxiety may occur.
4. Loss of Independence
There comes a point when the senior loses most if not all independence. Depending on your circumstances, this could mean a full-time caregiver in the home, or placement in a nursing home or assisted living facility. Feelings of anger and resentment are common, and once ensconced in the new situation with constant care, seniors may feel very isolated. Activities and visitors can help.
As people age, these emotional stages may not be pleasant, but they are normal. Just realizing that can go a long way toward managing the situation effectively.