Communication Techniques for Arguments

Many people don’t like to argue; others seem to love it. Whether you like to argue or hate it, feelings can get hurt and relationships damaged when people express their disagreements in inappropriate ways.

Have you ever considered that there are communication techniques for arguing? Here are some tips that may help you in your next confrontation.

Mr. and Ms. Right

It might be a good idea to let go of having to be right in an argument, sources say. Instead, make the goal of the argument be finding common ground. This means looking for compromises that can lead to an area or idea – however small – where you both agree. This makes you both right!

If You’re Right…

Ask yourself, what is the big deal about being right? In the big scheme of things, will being right make me a better person? Will it make others like or respect me more? Does this really even matter? It helps to ask yourself what it would mean, if anything, if you are right.

Don’t Be Defensive

It can be difficult not to jump to your own defense when someone is being critical…or if you perceive that they are being critical. One reason to hold off on defensiveness is that you may be hearing criticism when that isn’t at all what the other party means. Your perception may be off.

Another reason to hold off on being defensive is that you can’t really hear the other party’s points when you are formulating defenses in your mind. And you may not want to admit it, but hearing the other person is actually an important communication technique in an argument.

Why Listen?

As noted above, listening to the other party is important in an argument. You may not want to hear what the other party has to say, but the bottom line is, if you don’t hear them you can’t make your points effectively. You’ll miss the point and just cause frustration for both of you.

Have you ever listened to a debate and wished the parties would let each other finish what they’re saying? It’s frustrating to watch and experience. If you don’t listen to the other party, you may not even know what the argument is about!

Empathize

Try to see things through the other party’s eyes, even if it means acknowledging annoying behavior on your part. If the other party is angry because of something you did or failed to do, respond with understanding – “Yes, I can see how that would be annoying to you.” It’s amazing how empathy can sometimes diffuse anger.